Me:
I was just getting a spoon to scrape it out. I'm not dumb. Sometimes I don't think you remember that I'm an adult.
Mom:
I'm always going to think you're a baby.
Me:
But you should realize that I'm an adult and that I know things. It's frustrating sometimes that WHILE I'm doing something, you tell me to do the very thing I'm about to do. Makes me feel like you don't think I know anything.
Mom:
Me treating you like a child should be your good fortune!
Me:
But I'm American. I think differently. A mind that adapts is best.
Mom:
I'm Chinese. I'm already old. I can't.
Me:
That is why you don't have a growth mindset.
Mom:
I don't understand. English not good.
Me:
Aurgh.
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Mom:
I was almost done checking out when I said I forgot to get apple cider vinegar. I was going to wait there to pay while an employee got it. They said I should go with them so that I know where it is next time. We looked for a long time but they didn't have any so I went back. When I got back they already checked out my friend who was in line behind me. I said, where's my stuff? The checker said I already paid. I insisted I didn't! They added my stuff to hers and she paid. She bought this chocolate with almonds that looked good so I went to get one, too. I talked to the same checker and he realized he added my stuff to my friend's so he rang it up to see how much I should pay my friend back. He said it was $30 but then he said because I already paid, I should get a refund of $30. I told him again I didn't pay the first time but he just gave me money.
Me:
Wait, so not only did you get free groceries but you also MADE MONEY?
Mom:
Yeah! I told my friend I would drop by later to pay her $30 but she said she bought 6 bars of chocolate and in all the confusion, she didn't even get charged for it. So not to worry, don't pay her back.
Me:
How did they confuse you two? Maybe you look alike...
Mom:
We were both wearing hats, sunglasses, and masks! Our faces were all wrapped up. And when we pushed the cart outside, a lady customer asked, "Did you solve your problem?" (I guess she overheard everything) We said we did. She even said she can put the cart away for me. A lot of nice people.
Me:
Only you can go buy groceries, get them free, make money, and have a fellow customer help you out.
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My mom has been staying with us occasionally during the pandemic. I've been WFH and I usually close the office door when I'm in meetings. Yesterday, I had the door closed and while I was in a meeting, she came into the office to offer me a single carrot stick. Haha.
Me:
Okay, I have an important presentation tomorrow. I'll be speaking to a large group of people. I'm going to close the door so don't come in! And if you do, I'm going to make you get in the video!
Mom:
Okay! Then I say, "I'm delivery. I'm beverage delivery bring her water because she speak to all you guys."
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Mom:
I'm going to tell you something but you can't laugh at me! I tell you think and you'll think I'm dumb!
Me:
Okay...
Mom:
This was about 20 years ago. When I first heard Canon in D it was on the radio. Classical radio station. They said the composer and I thought they said it was by Taco Bell. I had my suspicions. It didn't sound right but who could I ask?
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